You and I, we had some unfinished business. There were so many things I wanted to say to you today, but didn't. I didn't because I knew that words were meaningless, as hurtful as they could be, not because I was scared of confronting you (well, there may have been a bit of that too), but because I knew upon seeing you that if I sat down and talked with you, I would end up in tears. I wonder if you wanted to say something, if you wanted to defend yourself, not knowing how much thought I've already put into your defense.
I wanted to say so many things to you; even now that lingers. Perhaps especially now, after seeing you for the first (and probably the last) time since October. The main thing I wanted to tell you, scream at you, and whisper softly between my tears, is this: you were (and remain) the only person who was ever able to make me feel like it was okay to just exist. I cried when I felt welcome in